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Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin E326 : GHUTAN !

As a farmer or gardener who prepares the ground by loosening the soil, pulling out the weeds, enriching the soil with fertilizers, so has sai’s journey begun into acceptance of her marital relationship in its absolute whole.

Three significant things happened today, well 2.5 if we are going to be strictly technical about it.. However before we wade into that, lets pick the threads of gardening again..

Virat’s love & care and above her his attention that Sai was sorely missing, was craving like a addict so much so that she took an unilateral decision to leave everyone  on the assumption that Virat does not want her in his life anymore!

His love & affection has come as a comforting rain, loosening the hardened heart, his palpable care & concern soaking through her heart, rejuvenating her withering heart.. A heart that beats for him, yearns for his acceptance & wants to be a part of his life’s tapestry.

While the soil is being readied, plans are afoot to remove the weeds that are eating away at the relationship.

The ball was set rolling by Samrat. The son of the house who is a virtual stranger. His are the eyes that are not clouded by the family dynamics or interlinks . His eyes are fresh & keen. He has begun to identify the trouble spots.

Samrat has understood Pakhi’s actions & intentions quite well. Until Sai’s accident, he was content to let Pakhi play in her sand box. But not anymore, he has intuitively & quite accurately realized that Pakhi’s behavior had a role to play in Sai’s dejection & rash decision.

Today he took a step in clearing the lay of the land, Samrat quite clearly & unambiguously told Pakhi that, he will no more be a mute spectator as she tries to play the game of baiting Sai. That he will no more stay quiet as she seeks to allay her own pain by gutting Sai !

But the crux or the meat of the episode lay in the hands of the psychiatrist. One of the most important & vital scene because it laid bare Sai’s perspectives. The writer’s made the psychiatrist Sai’s soul’s mouthpiece. At the outset, Doctor makes it clear that Virat is the MOST IMPORTANT person for Sai!

Later comes the unravelling of the web that has eclipsed the relationship between the two. Sai & Virat, children of different school of thought, behavior & upbringing.. united together, each bringing their own set of expectations, misgivings & vulnerabilities into the mix. Both have undergone few traumatic moments in their lives, both have been affected tremendously by it. This has warped their judgement, their views to such an extent, that both of them view & judge the actions of other’s through a miasma of mistrust or arrive at poorly thought out conclusions.

Both Sai & Virat are struggling to break the threads that is preventing them from having a clear view, Virat has succeeded to an extent whereas Sai efforts mostly prove futile. This is not the fault of the two but situations & various people in their lives through their well intentioned & some times with ill intent have kept both from getting closer.

The fact that despite all the manipulations, despite all the spectacular fallouts & drama’s that happened, Virat & Sai still seek each other, are the only one’s who can bring respite to their respective torment speaks about the power of their bond! But those pesky threads keeps pulling them back !!

Next, Dr. speaks about lack of friendship between the two. An interpretation which might come as a stunning surprise considering that Virat & Sai are amiable, affable, cordial to each other. They both are concerned & interested in each other’s lives. So, how can they not be friends?? Duh !! Doc has taken a crazy pill !!

But Wait ….

Are Virat & Sai friends? more to the point, does Sai consider Virat to be her friend?

When you swift through their journey, you slowly begin to comprehend that indeed Sai almost never thought of Virat as her friend !! Virat to Sai was her mentor, the man who corrected her mistakes, who taught her or is teaching her to navigate the world, the man who is helping her shape her future.

To Sai, Virat is her guardian, the man who is interested in her welfare, who puts up with her shenanigans & tolerates her misdemeanors because she is his responsibility. The man who has promised to discharge his duties & do everything in his powers to keep her safe, happy as she pursues her goal. The man whose decisions she has to abide by.

Guardian & Mentor – two official titles that can prevent and scuttle any form of emotional attachment, titles that hides the man behind it.

For Sai to draw closer , she has to cease wearing the glasses of Guardian & Mentor. .. She has to begin to see him as a friend, as a man…

She needs to understand her reactions to him, her emotional needs do not spring because he is her partner but because he is her friend, husband & her man.

The process for this has to begin & the tilling has begun..

Nevertheless, despite all this steps, a relationship particularly Sai & Virat’s emotional bonding can still become undone, if YOU exert pressure on concerned parties to maintain, uphold the decorum of marital relationship.

Suffocation in a relationship often is a prime killer of that bond. Needless to say, suffocation has been running rampant in between Sai & Virat.

While Sai has been a reluctant bride who has refused to don the mantle of Virat’s wife. Circumstances & people she loves often create situation where she is forced to adhere to the dictums of the world instead of listening to her heart.

The continuous meddling of Pakhi in her affairs has caused another type of suffocation. The feeling that she is unwanted, unloved has created a feeling of suffocation. The proximity to the toxic situation has increased her sense of being smothered. The attempts to flee is her gasp for breath.

Neither has Virat been spared from this overwhelming sense of suffocation. Constantly questioned about his integrity, his intentions. His well meaning gestures viewed with suspicion and sometimes with hostility. Zero trust in his words has lead to the point where he is choking down on his emotions to keep the peace..  While he struggles to contain this sense of suffocation, it leaches out in the form of anger, suspicion .. which again prevents them from forging a strong relationship.

This sense of suffocation most often is redeemed by moving away from the source. Distance ushering in the much needed fresh air, distance clearing the fog that has kept them blinded, distance will lessen the sense of suffocation while actually initiating a sense of longing & belonging for with distance comes clarity! Something Sai lacks at the moment.

Last but not the least, here was Sai, all set with her tickets & migration certificate to Gadchiroli. Here was a girl who nonchalantly would retort about heading back to Gadchiroli whenever a flashpoint occurred. Sai, the champion ‘house walk out-er’ , one who fully intended to head back to Gadchiroli & continue her studies..

What’s her take now when her husband, nope, her mentor & her guardian informs her that she is free to go ..

Her response :

“But I don’t have a home ” !!! 

& That is when we know that her heart is ready to embark on her journey… Sai is finding her way home!

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