Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin : Break DOWN !!

The process of breakdown or breaking down is never easy especially when it relates to humans and their emotions nor is it comfortable to your psyche or emotions. Break down wrenches your guts, shatters your ingrained beliefs, crushes your obstinacy while leaving you utterly helpless & vulnerable.

It’s not to say all this will happen in one single stroke, that a human will break in a swift strike, NOPE ! while break down continues, the innate instinct for survival, for protection will kick in converting every strike into blows. Something of the sort is happening to Sai & in lesser degree to Pakhi.

The accident accelerated Sai’s breakdown but initiation happened long before, right when Virat started to distance himself away from her emotionally.

The accident brought forth Sai’s need for Virat’s presence out in the open but the admittance of “why” is not yet complete. But then, the break down is still going, the walls are have not been fully crushed… it will take time but Sai will get there, that journey has been triggered by two things that happened. One, Virat ‘s action & another the advise of the psychiatrist.

What in the name of ‘chaats of Nagpur’  has Virat done now that will alter or at least budge Sai’s perception a bit?

For now, he has clearly told her, She, Sai is his priority. Sai has her RIGHTS on HIM !

From the beginning of Sai -Virat’s journey, Virat has plainly and in no uncertain terms had made it clear that he is “committed” to someone else. The relationship that he, virat shares or will share will be of ‘RESPONSIBILITY’. Nothing more & nothing less.

These words had firmly entrenched itself into Sai’s heart so much so she remained oblivious or refused to consider that things might have changed, that Virat might have had a change of heart. Sai being more of a verbal person was looking towards an unequivocal statement that would tell her clearly that the man she holds dear , considers her as an essential part of his life too.

Though Virat hinted at it, suggested at it, he never came out plainly to tell Sai that, Sai Joshi nee Chavan has her lawful, moral, emotional HAQ on him. This was partly fueled by the fear that he might lose Sai forever if he divulged his emotions & partly due to the fact that whenever Virat did try to reveal his feelings, Sai quickly put up a wall, forcing him to retreat.

Another important & almost the only factor that sat heavily on their relationship was continued interference of Pakhi in their lives. Her actions & her well timed words hinting at  ‘her haq’ over Virat went over the head of Virat but hit bulls eye in Sai, the intended target to the point where Sai became consumed by Pakhi, her emotions and her relationship with Virat, to the point where she became blind to various overtures of Virat, to the point where each & every action of Virat, his words were misconstrued through the lens of Pakhi.

Pakhi & that unambiguous “statement of intent” by Virat became an unscalable fortress until the moment in hospital.

Pakhi walks in to the ward, seeking to reinforce her presence in Sai & Virat’s lives. Sai who until then was openly asserting her authority over Virat, quickly takes a back step the moment she sees Pakhi. A gesture that’s quickly noticed by Virat.

The Virat of Yore would have overlooked Sai’s action, turned to address Pakhi. He would have asked Sai but he would not have followed it with an action. But look at him today, Virat notes Sai’s retreat but instead of taking it in his stride & turning to Pakhi (thus reinforcing the belief that Pakhi is his first priority & that he is still committed to her), Virat openly questions why Sai let go of his hand? He goes a step further & holds her hand IN FRONT OF PAKHI,  in FRONT OF his “COMMITEMENT”, He is prioritizing Sai & informing her that Sai has Haq on him. The words & action surprises Sai, but she has not fully understood the import of it just a glimmer that she has a place in his life…..

The second occurrence that could usher in a positive change is the advent of the psychiatrist. Amidst a plethora of counselling, the psych tells Sai one very important thing, do not allow ‘others’ to hold the thread to your happiness.

A very timely & sage advice ! Sai despite her assertion of independence, of being a strong willed , strong minded woman DID give the reins of her happiness to Pakhi !! Pakhi’s words, her actions provoked, hurt Sai. None of Virat’s soothing comfort nor Aai’s warmth could stand in front of Pakhi’s presence. For Sai to be happy, to live her dreams, she has to cease looking at Virat through Pakhi’s lens. Sai has to learn to reduce Pakhi’s dominance over her.

This is easier said than done ! Pakhi at the moment is quietly getting desperate. For someone who intended to cause emotional chaos, provoke Virat’s ‘latent’ jealousy into action, her deeds are boomeranging on her spectacularly.

Ego, a self aware ego is not a bad thing but when it dominates you to the power of excluding you to to factual reality, it can become dangerous & when coupled with obstinacy, it can become potent. Pakhi is standing at the cusp of destruction. Her every attempts to trigger Virat is failing, Pakhi’s maneuvers to insinuate herself or her presence in Virat’s life is is shrugged off by him quickly & quite strongly.

The realization that Virat has stopped caring about her much less  being considerate like before rankles. Pakhi is unable to or refuses to accept that she has no place in Virat’s life. Caught in her web of lies & deceit, her need to project the façade of perfection, Pakhi cannot allow herself the liberty of accepting the truth nor of subsequent breaking down. Her desperation to keep her walls intact will lead to her “break down” , a breakdown that can leave her permanently maimed, the gash causing her to lash out.

Two breakdowns happening simultaneously, one publicly and another unseen ! While the breakdown of one will lead to a stronger foundation, another will just be a desolate ground until the right agent comes, an agent who has the patience to see the strengths than weakness, patience to remove the wreckages, strength to offer support !