Since few weeks, Ghum is quietly following the growth of Sai, the deepening of Sai & Virat’s bond without too much of fanfare. The progression has been quite steady barring few hiccups here and there.
However, Sai’s growth spurt or her ambivalent stand did not spring about overnight nor did a fairy’s wand do the trick. It was a series of proactive action from Aai & Virat that steered the course for Sai. From her rigid, inflexible stand to her mellowed, non-committal stance has been no less than an epic saga in itself.
Aai cast the first roll of dice by peremptorily allocating different room to Sai thus essentially offering Sai, her own space to withdraw during moment of stress, conflict etc. For someone who keenly felt the absence of ‘belonging’ this gesture proved that she belonged, her wishes & happiness matters. She has her own individuality that is accepted & respected. This breathing space was much needed by Sai to gather her scrambled thoughts, her prickly defenses.
While the space quite contradictorily reduced the feeling of being alone, two more incidents followed in quick succession that allayed Sai’s fears & insecurities to an extent.
One was the ever hovering ghost of Pakhi in their midst. Despite Pakhi publicly stating her intent of restarting her life with Samrat, inspite of Pakhi overtly getting closer to Samrat in everybody’s presence, Sai was acutely aware of the fact that Pakhi was and is still in ‘love’ with Virat.
Her suspicion was strengthened by what she saw at the cafe & Virat’s subsequent refusal to reveal the details. The fear of abandonment that always hovered beneath the surface of confident veneer received a boost, fueled further by Virat’s adamant refusal to clear the air.
But this time around, Virat, the man who finds it quite difficult to open up, a man who needs to be prodded into doing things voluntarily opened up about that incident that has been gnawing her soul. Without any prompting or pressure from Sai, Virat disclosed what really transpired at the Cafe & even more importantly, why he was holding Pakhi’s hand?
This in itself suggests that not just Sai, even Virat is looking at a fresh start where he has realized that exorcising of “Pakhi” is the need of the hour. While the fact that he has moved past Pakhi & is living in the ‘NOW” is the only truth!! He has understood that this truth might not be clear & might even be obscured by situations that are beyond his control. So it was imperative for Virat to to clean the muddied pool. Without further ado, as is his wont, Virat took the proverbial bull by the horn n looked it in the eye.
Sai, who has been dreading that moment, whose fertile imagination had conjectured various scenario’s and all of them united in one unanimous goal of Virat uniting/in love with Pakhi finally gets her closure from that particular ghost. For her the notion of Virat Sir leaving her for Pakhi was very real. She believed that Virat was stuck with her because of the prevailing situation. Once Virat reveals that he made his choice and informed her of his ‘choice’, it soothed the ache.. That was one more pressure down..
Next crucial moment comes when Virat & Sai talk about their wedding. The reluctance of both the parties to enter into matrimony. Sai was very well aware that Virat did not willingly chose to marry her, he married her out a sense of obligation, a duty! That she was not, never was his choice. This fostered an anger within her, a resentment & a sense of disappointment. Sai knew she was a “Duty” to him & that rankled her.
Virat again sought to clear the air, He did not deny the knowledge that their wedding was forced upon him, it did not have his whole hearted approval – a statement that confirmed Sai’s worst fears. But before she could react or process, Virat added that though he was unwilling then then, that marriage has become a meaningful relationship, a relationship that he cherishes and accepts with his whole being. That she was not a unwanted burden was a strong suspicion that she nourished with zealous belief, to be told that she was not a trash that he was eager to dispose of at first opportunity rather was a jewel that he treasured did go a long way in ridding her of her feeling of being alone.
By removing the shackles of marriage while offering her the key to friendship. By removing the blindfold of ‘duty’ & offering her vista’s of ‘independence’ . By removing the cage that held her prisoner & offering the open skies of friendship, Virat has irrevocably tethered Sai to him. By taking a step back, Virat is letting Sai to take her own step – towards him or away from him. Virat has made his peace (for the moment) with his choice. Sai who never had the luxury of ‘choice’ now finds herself independent.
With her new found independence, she willingly chooses to be with Virat but as friend. The merger of friend and partner into one whole will bring in its awake its own agony & its own pleasure. But, hey!! All’s well that ends well..
Until then, it will be 1 step, 2 steps….